Saturday, February 21, 2009

I’m doing MY part!

According to THIS NY Times story and other articles, the Obama EPA is moving towards regulating carbon dioxide as a greenhouse gas and thus a pollutant harmful to the health and welfare of the people.

Hmmm. Okay.

Of course, the regulatory emphasis is said to be aimed toward coal-fired power generation plants. But my thought is, why stop there? There are lots of other sources of CO2, many of which produce far more tons of the nasty stuff that do power plants.

What? You want examples? Well, one story I read indicated that termites produce more tons of CO2 than all human activity combined. Why not regulate termites?

Oh, and not long ago I posted a sorta-tribute to Dave Barry in which I reported on the belching and flatulence of farm animals. Yes, they produce many tons of both methane AND CO2!

But gee, don’t we humans produce CO2 every time we exhale? That’s what they taught me back in Biology class, I think. So it occurred to me that maybe the EPA ought to regulate our breathing while they’re at it.

THAT thought, in turn, caused me to glow with pride. Why? Well, because according to Carol I am one of those folks who experiences sleep apnea. (I won’t say “suffers from,” because I’m not aware of any suffering – at least not on MY part; SHE says it causes HER some mental anguish.)

What is sleep apnea? That’s a cessation of breathing while I’m asleep! Sometimes (she reports) I go for up to a minute without taking a breath. In fact, occasionally she wakes me to get me to turn over and breathe again. (Yeah, okay, THAT does cause me some suffering – being shaken awake in the middle of a nice dream in which I’m stuck under water and can’t breathe . . . hey, wait a minute . . .)

ANYway, if I’m breathing less that means I’m reducing my CO2 output. I’m fighting Global Warming in my sleep!

I think that qualifies me for some carbon credits I can spend when I buy gas for my car; you know, a kind of gasoline discount. I also ought to get discounted airline tickets, and a discount on my electric bill since I’m reducing my carbon “footprint” through other measures. And since I’ve been doing this for several years; I ought to be way ahead of the game here.

So please let me know if the EPA starts offering any awards or medals for those who help cut down on the production of that nasty carbon dioxide. I’ll have Carol nominate me.