Sunday, March 15, 2009

Goddess! How COULD you??!!?

All of my regular readers will be HORRIFIED!

Well, of the two I have left maybe ONE of them will be slightly disturbed.

I just had a message from my best friend in all of South Africa.

Well, okay, she's the ONLY person I know in South Africa.

Anyway, that friend (known as "The Goddess," a.k.a. Michelle, who blogs under the title of "Because I Can -- My sessions from the couch") commented on my last post the following:

"BTW - any mechanical, technical goings on on your end? My brakes failed, my fridge packed up and the winder on my car window broke - all within days of each other."

Can you BELIEVE she did that!!??!

And that's not all! Oh, no! She also put the same information in her blog post!

Now all of you regular readers know that it is extremely dangerous to simply MENTION activities like that in conversation. But when you type them out on a keyboard and send them out over the Internet, it is only asking for trouble for all of us. And when you then POST comments like that for ALL TO SEE, and LEAVE them there for weeks and weeks . . . Well, in all likelihood she has just unleashed a full-blown attack on all of mankind of the dreaded ycaripsnoc!

As all (or both) of you know, I have tried to inform my readers of the fact that so-called inanimate objects will lie in wait for unsuspecting humans to become complacent, and will then ATTACK in a concerted manner across a broad spectrum of areas including plumbing, appliances, anything mechanical, electronics, and even the very houses and structures we live in! These objects will fail either all at once or in a rapid series, causing us humans untold misery and sometimes financial ruin!

The ONLY way to keep this ycaripsnoc at bay is to ignore it; don't mention it, don't acknowledge it in any way, and most of all DON'T POST INFORMATION ABOUT ITS ATTACKS ON THE INTERNET!

So thanks a LOT, Michelle! Now you've gone and unleashed this disaster on all of us!

No, I HADN'T been having any failures of problems on my end, but I'm sure THAT respite has now come to an end! I can almost feel the thing building up, gaining strength, preparing to POUNCE if it once senses that my guard is down.

I'm sure I won't sleep at all tonight, but will just lie there, listening, waiting for something to break!

Oh dear, oh dear.

WHERE are my meds?


Unknown said...

Oh no.

kenju said...

YOu'll need them, no doubt.

Nankin said...

I'm going to pretend I never read this post.

Designer Girl said...

John, John, John - you know I am not a selfish person and I like to share - EVEN if it is my misery. And, after all, you and I both, have been very quiet of late so you COULD have been hiding all the Big C incidents from us. Who would have believed all 3 things happen within days of each other! Anyhoo, I loved this post - you are back to your old (not in age mind you) self again.

I just luuuurve being your best friend in South Africa.