Sunday, January 15, 2006

My daughter the overachiever

What are ya gonna do? I asked Christina for 4-5 things about her father (me) that people might think are weird. You know, to satisfy this meme that VikiBabbles tagged me with?

Well, not only does she immediately respond with SIX (not the 4-5 I asked for), she then thinks a bit and comes up with MORE!!

Okay, Viki. You asked for it. Here’s the list of my weirdness according to my daughter. She says:

1. You can whistle and smile at the same time.

Well, OK. That’s somewhat unique. I’m the only person I know who can do that. No, I don’t mean just let out a loud “TWEEEET” while I’m smiling. I mean whistle an actual tune. Many tunes. While I’m showing a lot of teeth in a big grin. (I use my tongue to make the whistle sound, not my lips.) Frankly I don’t think that’s exactly weird, just a little unusual. But I guess that’s one good one.

2. You have those weird little bone growths or whatever they are in your mouth that you didn't realize were weird until the dentist told you that nobody else has them.

Yeah. Those are definitely weird, no question. My dentist once asked if they bothered me, but then thought a second and added, “No, I guess if they’ve been in your mouth all your life they’re just normal to you.” He was right.

3. You actually enjoy puns to a degree that is somewhat sick.

Now wait just a minute! That’s not weird. A LOT of people enjoy puns. Reading them, hearing them, and yes, MAKING them. That’s not sick. Nor is it weird. It’s NORMAL! I reject that!

4. You have been happily married to the same woman for almost 40 years and are still madly in love with her. That's not so much weird as just not that common these days.

Here again, that is NOT weird! That may NOT be common, but it’s definitely NOT weird. I admit that it’s totally true, but again I reject the weirdness angle.

5. You are delusional and paranoid and fear your appliances.

Christina! I have offered abundant proof of my allegations about the conspiracy! You may choose to believe the evidence or not – that’s your prerogative – but delusional?? I don’t THINK so. Many of my readers have confirmed this theory. That is DEFINITELY not weird.

6. You understand the way my crazy brain works! (Mom thinks that's weird anyway)

Well, that’s your MOTHER’s opinion. Your crazy brain works much in the same fashion as MY crazy brain. After all, where do you think the genes CAME from? I think our brains (yours and mine) are pretty normal. Maybe it’s your mother and sister (who think alike, but differently from you and me) who are weird. I reject THAT as weirdness also.

7. You are unusually modest.

Well, yes. I admit that. For someone as smart, good-looking, talented and resourceful as me, I am unusually modest. But that, although again perhaps unusual, is NOT WEIRD. You’ve only got TWO so far!

8. You can't take a photograph without cutting off someone's head, or part of the main subject of said photograph.

Christina, Christina! We artists focus on different things from the rest of the population. YOU may focus on the person’s head, but sometimes I might focus on (and thus take a picture centered on) some aspect OTHER THAN the head. The head is not always appropriate for the photo I’m taking. But for the narrow-minded out there, okay. I’ll accept that as weird from the perspective of the unenlightened masses. That’s THREE.

9. You taught your daughter to identify the state of Kentucky on the map because the shape is similar to that of a chicken leg, as in KFC.

No! No, no, no. NOT WEIRD! It obviously worked, as proven by the FACT that you now, at age 33, can STILL identify that state from its outline based on that MEMORY aid! I think I taught you that little trick when you were in what? Third grade!? That is LEGITIMATE, and, if in all MODESTY I can say this: it was brilliant!

10. You were quoted in Newsweek Magazine for setting the unrolling-a-toilet-paper-roll-the-fastest world record.

Yeah, well, that is definitely something that nobody else in the whole world can claim. Or back up with physical evidence. So I’ll acknowledge that as weird. That’s FOUR!

11. You are usually right handed, but you swing a golf club and a baseball bat leftie.

Nope! That doesn’t qualify either. Phil Michelson on the PGA tour is the same – a natural right hander who swings left-handed. And a lot of left-handed people do some things right-handed because there’s a lot more right-handed sports equipment than left-handed, so they buy what’s out there and adapt. Maybe that’s, again, unusual; but not weird!

12. Everytime you hear something with a constant beat, like a ceiling fan, a pulsating engine, hell even a clock ticking, it always gets you thinking of some song on that beat. Sometimes that's pretty cool, but other times it's a little distracting. — Well, there's my dozen that you gave me credit for. I could have come up with more, but I think everybody gets the idea.

That’s true. I do that. Is that weird? I think, again, that it’s NORMAL! You’ve admitted to me that even YOU do that. YOU’RE not weird. Are you?

Well, I give up! I’ll go along with that one as well, so you’ve succeeded in getting me to five weird things.

But I REJECT the other things! Out of hand!

OKAY!! That gets me to the five things required by Viki. I have succeeded!

Now it’s time for me to tag 5 others, but it’s late tonight so I will do that tomorrow. (Yes, Viki, here’s ANOTHER example of me teasing readers to bring them back to my blog).

(Christina, you can stop now. PLEASE!?)


r.e.wolf said...

#5 and #10 are enough to keep ME coming back! (Whether that's a good thing or not is up for debate.)

schnoodlepooh said...

Those are great. I think Christina has you 'pegged' (sorry for that pun!). I especially agree with #5. I know that to be true.

Good one.

Michelle said...

ROFL - I luuuurved your responses to Christina. I am going to check out the map of Kentucky - I doubt I will ever forget that one.

As for your creativity in taking photographs - I am on your side *wink*. Anyhoo, you should see the creativity of the photographs taken by scrapbookers - definitely not the norm.

Have a great week John.

Christina said...

weird: Of a strikingly odd or unusual character; strange

Re: your defense of #11.

If you were left handed and swung rightie or cut with right handed scissors or something, that would not be weird because of the fact that there is a lot more equipment out there designed for righties. But YOU are right handed (which everything is designed for) and choose to swing leftie - I maintain, that's weird.

As for #6 and #12 - I never said I wasn't weird.

The pun thing, I will leave open for debate - lots of people may like puns, but I have heard you carry them way beyond the norm.

Viki said...

Nice job, Christina! This made for a good morning laugh, which I needed today!

And for the record, I am right-handed and shoot lefty. So that either doesn't count, or makes us both weird in the same way.

Candace said...