As I look back through my posts earier in the week I have to laugh. I mean, come on! Who could imagine a concerted attack on unsuspecting humans by fish and birds and bugs, much less trees!
Oh, I checked again and I did get that Bible reference right. You know, about the trees that caused more deaths than the sword in that big battle with 20,000 casualties? Yeah, that was real. Hmmmm. Does make you wonder...
So anyway, now that my mind(?) is clear again, I've been looking over what the rest of the blogging world is writing about, and it all seems to be oriented toward Halloween. And though Halloween does NOT occur this weekend, that's when most of the celebrations and activities will take place.
But the bloggers have got it wrong. They shouldn't be blogging about Halloween. The really scary event that happens this weekend is the return to Standard Time (unless you live in one of those weird places that doesn't shift the clocks forward and backward during the year).
So, as a public service to all you thousands of faithful readers, don't forget to change your clocks by one hour before you go to bed on Saturday night. Otherwise you'll never regain that hour of sleep you lost last spring. Plus you'll show up in church an hour too early, and the preacher will have a heart attack from shock.
Well, now I can hear all of you asking, "Which way do we set the clock? Do we fall forward and spring back, or do we spring back and fall forward?"
Just recite this old nursery rhyme:
"Hickory dickory dock,
Three mice ran up the clock.
The clock struck one,
The mice ran down.
The clock struck two,
So buckle your shoe,
Three, four; shut the door.
Five, six; rednecks and hicks.
Seven, eight; open the gate.
The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out;
The worms play pinochle on your snout.
Jack be nimble, Jack be quick.
Jack, set the clock or we'll all be sick.
Which way do I set it, forward or back?
Set it so we'll have more time in the sack."
So the moral of the story is: "Never trust a banker who tells you the Czech is in the male!"
And with that, dear blogging friends, you can now safely set your clocks on Saturday night and be totally confused on Sunday morning.
Speaking of confused, did I actually TAKE those pills this morning, or did I toss them in the trash with the coffee grounds?