“Jaws” and its sequels and spin-offs put fear in the hearts of millions of people. In fact, the tag line for one sequel was, “Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water.”
Turns out that all that hype about shark attacks was really just (dare I say it?)... a red herring.
Sharks are not the real threat! It’s OTHER creatures from the sea that we have to work about. They don’t eat you. They don’t take off a limb. They aren’t attracted to blood in the water.
In fact, neither you nor they have to be in the water to attack.
An alert reader sent me the link to this AP story.
We all thought Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin’s incident was a freak occurrence, right? A “once in a lifetime” accident. And admittedly it was not only a horrible tragedy, it was unheard of. A stingray stabbed Steve in the heart with his barbed dart.
Well, now the stingrays are coming right out of the water, landing in your boat, taking dead aim, and striking directly for, yes, the heart!
A coincidence? Come on! Two completely unheard of incidents involving the same species within 6 weeks of each other. That alone would be enough to disprove any coincidence theory, but look at the key similarity: both stingrays went straight for the heart!
In the past we’ve always assumed that the ray was a docile creature that only used its poisoned barbed darts defensively. But now they are clearly on the attack. They’re pissed, and they’re coming for us.
The good news is that the gentleman in Florida may survive his attack through the simple expedient of leaving the barb in his heart until surgeons could remove it.
But what’s next? Will sea lions flap their way ashore and attack us in out beds? Will schools of mullet jump en masse into fishing boats, swamping them and drowning the people?
And how about fresh water creatures? Will rainbow trout swarm to overwhelm fly fishermen in mountain streams? Will minnows swim up the nostrils of swimmers to suffocate them?
I don’t know about you, but I’m staying well away from boats and bodies of water until this water-dweller threat is understood and contained.
Jaws was only the beginning!