Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Seriously now...

A few of the comments made to my previous posts started me thinking (a very dangerous situation) that many of you might be taking these reports too lightly.

Remember Hitchcock’s “The Birds?” We’ve already discussed “Jaws.” How about “Arachnophobia?” “Snakes on a plane.” People, this list really does go on and on.

Okay, you’re thinking, but those are all fiction. Those things didn’t really happen.

Oh?

How do you know that? You believe all this pseudo-science about global warming, don’t you? Yes, you do. Why? Because you read about it in the newspapers. Well, you read about the stingray attacks in the paper, and saw reports about them on television, right? Killer bee attacks are almost routine these days.

Birds HAVE been known to kill people. Geese have knocked military fighter jets out of the sky by flying into the jet intake. Granted, it’s always just as hard on the goose as it is on the plane, but still.

Microorganisms kill people all the time, and we call it disease.

So maybe you’d better not snicker when someone writes about attack worms. Or swarms of jumbo shrimp or Maine lobsters coming to their house in the middle of the night.

Heck, the next thing you know Zinnia’s chickens might start coming after her when she tries to punt them over the barn roof! All manner of animal attacks might occur, now that the creatures are getting their acts together.

In fact, the longer I go without refilling my prescriptions, the more likely these scenarios become.

So laugh if you must, but this could be serious!

7 comments:

Peter said...

Hi Duke, I see we share a few readers including your daughter Christina so thought it was about time to call in and say G'day.
If that wasn't a good enough clue, I'm an Aussie, but I find the rest of the world quite forgiving of this fact, I'll just rummage around in your files for a while now.

Steve G said...

It's not just breathing things we have to watch out for. Remember the movie "Attack of the Killer Tomoates"? I carved a pumkin this morning and I swear it tried to bite me.

Kunstemæcker said...

sorry. I won't do it again.

Candace said...

"In fact, the longer I go without refilling my prescriptions, the more likely these scenarios become."
Hahahahaaaaaaaaaaa!

Ahem.
I took the dogs out this morning to enjoy the crisp "autumn" air, but returned with mosquito bites all over my arms. It's always some damn thing in Texas, isn't it, John? Fire ants, mosquitos, armadillos ...

Scruffybutt said...

... fleas ...

kenju said...

Who? me? Laugh? Surely you jest!

Christina said...

I definitely have my suspicions about the birds - the ones in Victoria - you know the ones I mean. They scare me!

I think the appliances scare me more though.