Saturday, April 30, 2005

Romance, finally.

Karyn, you did it AGAIN!

It must be part of a woman’s genetic coding that once they bear children they convey guilt as an automatic function. I don’t think it’s intentional. I think it’s built in—the subconscious mind just takes over and the guilt is transmitted.

It can’t be part of a worldwide gender conspiracy, can it? (Say! That would make a great story line for a novel. I’ll have to develop that.)

Karyn, I guess you were trying to be sympathetic, throwing out that comment about the lawn needing mowing, but...

Hey! Wait just a minute! Has my wife been emailing you? The first thing she began to talk about this Saturday morning was all of the outdoor projects she has in mind. Some of them she wanted to “get started on” today. Translation: “John, I expect you to get several of these things done today.”

Okay, I guess that’s not fair. You don’t know Carol. She’s a one-in-a-billion woman who DOES actually plan, start, and often complete all by herself projects involving things that are stereotypically reserved for the man of the house. Things like trimming trees.

Maybe I should tell you that she bought ceramic tile for our bathrooms and laid it all by herself. Maybe I should also admit that she then bought a WHOLE BUNCH more ceramic tile (12-inch squares) and tiled the entire kitchen, laundry room, den and front hall of our house!

What? Of COURSE I helped. I got to carry in from the garage the sixty-pound boxes of tiles so she could lay them. I think I also hauled in the bags of grout for her to mix with water and apply between the tiles. I mean, SOMEBODY had to do the grunt work!

Her latest project is making concrete stepping stones to create a beautiful landscaped area off our back patio. Yes, she makes them. She pours bags of Sakrete into a mixing tub, adds water, mixes until the right consistency is obtained, and then scoops the wet concrete into plastic molds to make the stepping stones. Once they are cured she places them in the pattern she has created.

The only thing that saves me from being recruited for these projects every evening and all weekend is that she also loves to play golf (Thank You, God!), and she realizes that the evenings have other purposes than just working on projects.

Almost all of my blogging is done after dark. (Yes, you CAN do other things after dark than what most people think about doing after dark.)

But you know what one of the best things about Carol is? Although she’s the mother of two wonderful daughters, she suppresses that subconscious desire to project guilt.

Ha! Take note, you women of the world! Your conspiracy is being subverted!

(Thank You again, God! For everything about my wife!)


Anonymous said...

I just luuuurve your sense of humour. Carol is an amazing woman for doing ALL that and enjoying it. Yes, you definitely have been blessed.

Karyn Lyndon said...

I was only projecting how I would feel if my husband were going to conferences, starting up new companies and then writing the great American novel and blogging during his free time. Us women have to back each other up, right? (Carol, you can send the check later.)

On the other hand, I also understand how it makes you FEEL better (in a theraputic way) to write down all you have to do...makes it seem more manageable, I suppose. (And besides, Lantz is making you do it, right?)

Carol does sound wonderful. My husband is equally handy as he wears many hats: yard man, pool man, home and car maintenance and wallpaperer extraodinaire, all while holding down a full-time job as a pressman.
I guess us creative writer types need someone to hold down the fort, keep up the landscaping and remodel while we're taking on the world, dreaming up other worlds and then blogging about it.

Now quit reading this and go help Carol bring in the groceries!