Lighter?

I promised a lighter post for today. That brings to mind weight loss. Which, of course, makes one lighter!

Which in turn reminds me of a story. A true one. It happened to me.

Last week I went to the drive through window at a local burger joint. I ordered two burgers — NOT the meals, just the sandwiches. That’s it. No drinks, no fries, no desserts. I pulled forward to the pick-up window, paid, and waited.

This particular chain doesn’t make the burgers until you order (“We Make It Just For You!”) so it took a while.

Eventually the burger-person slid open the little window and handed me TWO bags. Usually when I order two burgers (and btw, they weren’t both for me — it’s important that you know that!) they put them both in one bag.

Now these bags felt a bit bulky and heavier than I’d expected, so I glanced inside one and saw fries.

I immediately held the bags back to the burger-person and said, “These aren’t mine. I didn’t have fries.”

He said, “Oh, I know. I just put them in there for the weight.”

Say what? I hefted the bag, and said, “You needed to make them heavier?”

He looked at me with an uncomprehending expression (come to think of it, it was the same expression he always had), and said, “No, man, for the weight.”

As if speaking louder would help me understand.

I glanced down at my waist, wondering if I looked obese to him. Or maybe, I thought, he thinks I need to GAIN some weight?

Seeing me continue to hesitate, he explained, “I didn’t charge you for them.”

Oh. Well THAT certainly cleared things up. He wanted the bags to be heavier, but not cost more. Uh huh.

What the HELL was he talking about?!

I shrugged, put the car in gear, and started to raise the window. He tried one more time.

“It’s because you had to WAIT so long.”

With a bright red face and feeling like a TOTAL idiot, I pretended I didn’t hear him and drove away.

And I thought HE was uncomprehending! He probably thought, as I drove off, “That’s the last time I’ll try to be nice to a customer.”

So the next time a drive-through person is rude or indifferent to you, blame me. It’s probably the guy who threw in some free fries to my order because he thought I’d waited a long time.

(Actually I drove around to the door, parked, and went inside to tell the manager how nice the drive-through person had been. Probably got him fired for giving a customer free food!)

(And, FYI, I’m 6’1” tall with a 36” waist. Not that it’s any of your business.)