Lynch mob?

Last week I wrote a brief post about my fondness for puns. I received a mixed bag of comments and emails, many of which expressed an understanding of my fondness, but only a few claimed to actually share that feeling about them.

Well, yesterday one of those opportunities presented itself on a silver platter, and I was compelled to take advantage of it.

The day before—Saturday—Carol and I had been joined on the golf course by our good friend Ruth. We three play together frequently enough that all the course personnel know us and have almost come to expect to see us together.

One of those employees is called the “Starter.” Our course has three nine-hole layouts, and the starter’s job is to assign golfers to different nines when they begin their round to spread people out and thus speed up play. Sometimes he will ask two small groups to join together. His goal is to keep things flowing and moving while maximizing use of the entire course.

On Sunday Carol and I presented ourselves to the starter (whose name is Al) as ready to start. He asked me conversationally, “Ruth not coming out today?” He was looking around for another twosome or a single to put with us.

I told Al, “No, she couldn’t make it today.” As I was saying that, it hit me.

I paused just a couple of beats and remarked deadpan, “Yeah, Carol and I are going to just be Ruthless out there today.”

He looked up at me with a blank expression. Then understanding came. (It’s all in the delivery.)

He had the good grace to laugh. And once he started he just couldn’t stop. He must have repeated that line to everybody he saw that afternoon.

I’m hoping that by next weekend it will be safe for me to show up at the course again. There have been rumors that a lynch mob had formed, but I’m sure that’s just an exaggeration.

Maybe.