Well, leave it to RobotJam to come up with a simple, elegant solution to our (his and my) lawn problems! How ingenious. Kinda like the camouflage paint idea. I just LOVE creative people, don't you?
In case you missed his comment yesterday to my complaint about mowing in drought conditions, here it is:
“Extreme drought! My garden is swamp-like at the moment. My mower would actually sink if I went into the garden.
“This gives me an idea. I will box up some garden wetness and export it to you, in return if you could send me a mild drought (not an extreme drought please) we could solve both of our problems.”
But... uh... how does one box up and ship off a mild drought? I wonder what kind of container to use. And how much will the shipping charges be? The drought ought to be cheaper to ship than the “garden wetness,” because everybody knows that wet stuff is heavier than dry.
And mightn't Mother Nature be offended if we start messing with her grand scheme? I mean, if a Texas drought showed up in the U.K., do you think the “big picture” would get a little skewed? Not to mention some English wetness in South Texas!
I wonder if there’s some way around that. I mean, what a concept! We could start shipping blizzards to the ski areas in September and extend their season. We could send tropical weather to Canada in February, and Canadian cold fronts (they have plenty!) to the desert Southwest in August. Or maybe I should be thinking more globally. Why should one hemisphere have summer while the other has winter?
A plan like that would help the balance of trade. And there’s always demand for a change in the weather! Well, with a few exceptions. Like Hawaii most of the year. But even Hawaii gets an occasional typhoon, and the Hawaiians could export some of that wind and rain to hot, dry areas like parts of East Africa.
Just think! Golf courses could ship in some rain at night to keep the grass green, but always have sunny weather for daylight playing. We could all have a white Christmas every year. If we plan an outing at the beach we could ship in some warm sunny weather to be sure to get a great tan.
But I tend to get into trouble when I try to find a way around the natural order of things. I’ve always heard that it’s not nice to fool Mother Nature, or to mess around with her.
You know the old saying, right? ”If Mama Ain’t Happy, Ain’t NOBODY Happy!” Well, that goes in spades for Mother Nature!
There just might be a backlash that would make my resistential conspiracy seem like small potatoes. (“Potatoes” DOES have an “e” in spite of Dan Quayle, doesn’t it?)
I mean, what if FedEx messed up and sent a flood to, say, New Orleans, and sunshine to the Sahara? What if everybody wanted a white Christmas and suddenly, on December 25, all the oceans froze.
Maybe I’d better leave well enough alone and file away this idea along with the one for camouflage paint for my house. It sounded good for a while, but...