Friday, October 06, 2006

Last post on this topic

...for now.

What is the number one cause of marital discord, separations and divorce?

If you said “Money,” go to the head of the class. And I see that fact regularly here in the HR office at my little plant.

I have a divorce pending because the Missus couldn’t control her spending and hid that fact pretty well from the trusting Mister. Unfortunately there are four boys from high school to elementary school age who will be staying with Dad from now on because Mom wants her freedom. Maybe she wants her freedom mostly because Dad’s bank accounts are now depleted, but I don’t know that for sure.

I have another divorce pending because the Missus is financially conservative and wants to live strictly within a budget with minimal debt, while the Mister wants to buy what he wants (on credit cards) when he wants it. Most recently his purchases have been a big-screen plasma TV, a digital camera, and a motorcycle. Things that she calls his “toys.”

And as I posted yesterday, I have 4 or 5 employees who want to hide their bonus money from their spouse so they can spend it on themselves.


(Ahem). Sorry about that little outburst.

Now that I’ve stopped beating my head against the wall, let me tell you about Carol. She does NOT like to shop. She dislikes debt and hates interest payments. She believes in saving and having a cushion for times of need. And she believes in saving up for expensive things and paying cash for them, even if it means doing without them for a few months or years.

No, she’s not a tightwad. When we decide to make a purchase, we usually don’t select an item based on price alone (unless it’s a commodity, like gasoline). We often pick a higher-priced thing based on features, or dealer service; but only if we can afford it.

We evaluate and choose. We weigh options. Sometimes we spend weeks deciding exactly what we want without regard to price, and then shop both locally and online for that item based on price including taxes and shipping.

For most of our marriage we have been a single income (mine) family. But our money is OURS, not MINE. We own all things jointly and each has full access to the accounts and assets we own.

Is our way the “right” way?

Well, for both of us it definitely is. We are like-minded.

Money will not be an issue in our marriage.

I am so blessed!


Nankin said...

Oh how I wish your Carol would give my Jimbob a few lessons.

kenju said...

You ARE blessed, in many ways. We are the same way, most of the time. I hate debt. I was raised by parents who never bought much they couldn't pay cash for, including cars and houses. Their ideas took hold in me.

Candace said...

You are BOTH blessed!
And so are your children.

Just think of the kids in the families you've described in this post. Their parents are immature, irresponsible, selfish people who are headed for divorce and possible financial ruin.

Miss Cellania said...

What is best is:
1. That both husband and wife agree on spending styles, or else they are complementary, is not the same.
2. They don't get into financial trouble even if they do agree.

Thats all it takes. But attitude is so important! Some people manage to make a fight out of something not worth fighting over.

Emmy Ellis said...

CoverVan and me are the same. We don't shop really, except for food and necessities!


Badabing said...

I read somewhere that money and sex were the two most common causes of marital disharmony. If that is true then I guess I should give thanks...I don't have much of either ;-)

Anonymous said...

I disagree, the most common cause of marital disharmony is:-


Karyn Lyndon said...

My husband and I have the perfect financial balance. What's mine is mine and what's his is mine...

Hey, it's hard work doing all the shopping!

Anonymous said...

that's why I'm not married... anymore...

Anonymous said...

I think the same way as Carol does. However, the last year has been an incredibly tight one for me but things are about to change. You are both fortunate to think alike as when the time comes for retirement, you will be able to enjoy yourselves without worrying about money.

thewriterslife said...

You surely are blessed, Duke. Working together with same goals and same spending habits is a marriage made in heaven.

Hale McKay said...

You and your wife are from the same mold and as me and my wife. Your post could have easily been written about us.