Monday, December 18, 2006

A golf-ball consp...? (Oops!)

I almost said wrote it!

If you read yesterday's post, and the comments by my alert readers, mayby something more was going on than simpy golf ineptitude on my part.

Okay, as we all know, the golf ineptitude is a given. Let's get past that, shall we, and focus on what's IMPORTANT here? Thank you.

I've always said it was the inanimate objects that were exacting their revenge on us. And although it often seems that golf balls are NOT inanimate (since they tend to jump out of the way of my fast-approaching clubhead causing me to hit the ground first, or miss-hit them into horrible places... wet places... dark, mysterious places where they are lost forever in a golf ball black hole where there is no flag stick), I am assured by better players (like Carol) that they ARE.

So what is our inescapable conclusion?

Sporting goods and apparati must be part of the "C"!

Consider this your warning. Watch out for those soccer balls and badminton birdies. Be careful around bowling alleys and billiard tables. Don't trust those golf clubs, the baseball bat or the tennis racket in the closet, or attic, or garage!

They're all potentially out to get you. When you least expect it, expect it!

It CAN happen. It happened to me! I have proof! First, there's the nasty bruise on my wrist. And then there's the nasty attack golf ball. It has a smug, self-satisfied smile on it. (Really!)


Christina said...

I totally agree - the sporting goods are in on it. I used to bowl on a league, and while I never bowled a 300 game or anything, I was a decent bowler. Well, while I was still on the league, the place i worked had som eparty or event at a bowling alley and everybody bowled. I brought my own personal bowling ball and shoes, thinking i would show off and bowl really good. Well, my first time up, on my backswing, the bowling ball slipped off my hand and crashed to the floor. Everybody laughed, I made a joke about it, and went up again to bowl. THE SAME THING HAPPENED!!! This was MY bowling ball, not a crappy house ball. I usually averaged aboyt 160 with this ball. It NEVER flew off my hand during the backswing! Until then. I was humiliated, and now I know it was the dreaded "C" all along.

Duke_of_Earle said...

See? Another first-hand testimonial! Can anyone now doubt this new-found variation on the "C?"

kenju said...

I was thinking hard, trying to remember if anything like that had happened to me, and then I remembered the time I was trying to take a camouflage net out of my van, and it caught on a plaster monkey. I lost my balance and fell backward into the concrete floor of the garage. Now I know that monkey was out to get me all along!

Candace said...

I was once hit in the face with a Frisbie during a 'Stones concert - does that count as a sports injury?? (I lived.)

Kirsten said...

Ha, now living in the north country doesn't look so foolish!!!

We quarantine our sports equipment here for a few months every year to show it who's boss!!!

robotJAM said...

I can vouch for this Duke, I was invloved in a football sorry soccer accident about 6 months ago. Strangley I was tackled by the ball and it managed to rip the cartilege off my right knee.

There was no other player involved and now I need surgery on the knee to fix it. Sports equipment is definitely part of the "C" plan.