...about the ongoing and ever-increasing conspiracy.
Based on the many comments and emails I’ve begun to realize something. According to my laborious and totally scientific research, those messages are just about evenly split between folks who have noticed the same phenomenon for a long time, and those who were skeptical at first but THEN soon began to experience repeated failures in the areas mentioned.
(Well, OK, my scientific research consisted of just thinking back about the comments and emails, and they seemed to be about evenly split. As best I remember... I think. Aw, close enough!)
What did that tell me? (I’m not sure, so I made something up.)
It tells me that there is at least a 50-50 chance that this is all caused by a computer virus!
It’s probably spread from one computer to another, over the internet, among blog readers! In fact, I probably got it from one of YOUR blogs! (Or, maybe it was that porn site I keep going back to... Hmm...)
Anyway, as each of you reads my posts about the conspiracy, the virus spreads to your machine. If you read this at home, your computer spreads the virus through your home wiring to other appliances. Those that are connected to the plumbing (dishwasher, clothes washer, garbage disposal, etc.) spread it to the sink, toilets and outdoor taps.
As I wrote yesterday, your televisions and/or radios communicate it out to your vehicle. And the house itself picks it up from one or more of those contacts.
As for Schnoodlepooh’s pets, I can only speculate. We all know that dogs can hear frequencies that we humans can’t. And many animals are known to seek shelter before the first tremor of an earthquake. How do they know? Maybe they can pick up these signals somehow.
Keep in mind that, for now at least, this is merely a hypothesis. I haven’t extended my research to the extent I can say it is an incontrovertible fact.
But I’m close to that point.
And here’s another reason why. Sometimes I outline or draft my daily blog posts at my workplace office.
Only during my lunch break, Greg, I swear! I never spend paid work time doing personal stuff, and of course I never read other blogs at the plant.
(Note to self: Remember to erase Internet Explorer history files first thing tomorrow at work.)
Yesterday (during lunch, Greg!) I typed out some thoughts for the day’s post about the conspiracy.
About ten minutes later I hit the flush handle on a urinal in the men’s room, and... instant Niagara Falls! All over the floor. And the flow just kept on flowing! Luckily there’s a floor drain in there, so the building wasn’t flooded. (I am NOT making this up.) We had to replace the flush valve, and everything’s fine. For now!
Don’t you think the timing there is just a little bit suspect? I fear I may have spread the virus to my plant. This could have severe consequences on our manufacturing processes and future productivity!
So, Christina, maybe you were on to something about keeping quiet. I think I’ll stop posting this kind of information for a while and see if things settle down.
Now, if I could just find my meds...