Monday, March 27, 2006

I had another phone call...

...from my friend Jay. He’s the one whose vinyl siding was cracked when a vehicle wheel and tire whacked into the front of his house in the dark, wee hours a few months back. No, it wasn't a vehicle — just the tire mounted on a wheel. He doesn't kow if it came off of a speeding car, or bounced out of the back of a speeding pickup.

It hit so hard his bedroom window shattered; and the wheel hit at least 6 feet away from the window.

(By the way, nobody ever came back to claim that tire and wheel. Go figure.)

Oh, and he’s also the one whose neighbors across the street put up a sign that read, “No Trespassing — Will Shoot.”

And he’s the one who ordered a DSL line for internet service and didn’t realize that the DSL modem the phone company provided had a built-in wireless router.

(If you don’t remember that post, he wanted to go wireless, so I bought him a router and went over to set it up for him. I looked at the DSL modem and asked him what he thought the 6-inch long black protrusion was. He said, “Looks like an antenna.”

I asked him what he thought an antenna on a modem might be for. He looked puzzled a moment, and then said, “You mean I already got wi-fi?” Yup.)

Well yesterday he called me again.

“John, my computer’s messed up.”

“What’s it doing?” I asked.

“No, it’s what it’s NOT doing.” (Jay is a great one for forcing me to drag it out of him. )

“Okay, Jay, what is it NOT doing?”

“Well, I was looking at some web sites, and my Internet Explorer toolbars either went away or moved over to one side. Now I can’t get them to... Oh, wait a minute. I just clicked on one and dragged it back where it used to be. It looks like it’s staying.”

I heard some random background noises.

Then he went on, “But my Robot Form tool bar is gone. I use that to fill out all kinds of information on forms, and I don’t know how to get it back if... Oh, wait a minute.” (Long pause. I wait.) “Yeah! There it is. Okay, I’ve got it back. Everything looks good now.”

“Jay,” I tell him, “close I.E. down and then re-open it. Tell me what it looks like.”

“Okay. There, it’s down. And... there, it’s back up. It looks fine.”

I ask, “Is everything in place like it’s supposed to be?”

“Yeah! Much better. Hey, thanks John. I knew you could help.”

“Call any time, Jay. Always happy to help when I can.”

(Sometimes being a computer expert is pretty easy. )


Christina said...

Yeah, your friend sounds like a moron. (ha, ha)

r.e.wolf said...

Those are the BEST calls!

Then there are the ones who - when you tell them to click the icon on the desktop - inform you that "WE only use LAPTOPS here!"

Hale McKay said...

Good - then you tell me why the thing-a-mabob doesn't work when I click the thing-a-majig to open the do-hickey!
...Good post.

Robin said...

Oh, Jay sounds like a real card!

Hale McKay said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Karyn Lyndon said...

wish I lived in a small town...then I could be the smartest one there.

robotJAM said...

At least he's not going to hurt anyone being a computer fool.

I used to work on a help desk for the the Gas board and one the best calls was like this:-

" I think i've got a gas leak",

"can you smell gas ?",

"yes I have been round and checked with a match and can't find where its coming from "


kenju said...

Are you on call? I will need your expertise sooner or later!

P.S. My new dishwasher will be installed soon.

Michelle said...

I remember the same thing happening to me when I first started learning the computer and its confusing as hell to try to figure it out. You are such a sweetie for being so patient. I can understand why you are his friend.