The name game

Yesterday morning I was shaving, mentally somewhere else entirely, when I noticed a trickle of blood from my chin. Hadn’t felt a thing, but the razor had apparently been just a bit too aggressive at that spot.

That reminded me of the old joke that goes something like:

Q : What do you call a man who cuts himself shaving?

A: Nick.

And THAT thought got me to wondering how many other, similarly punful names could be so used.

I thought of another one or two I’d heard before, and then tried to be creative and think of more. I’m sure that if I Googled some of the humor sites I could find a hundred such name jokes, but all of the ones below that do NOT have an asterisk are made up by me (even if not original).

Here’s my list, with the answers in the first comment. Some are pretty obvious; all are bad. See how many you can get, and then how many others you already know or can come up with on your own. (No fair searching the web!)

What do you call a man who:

1. Repeatedly cuts himself shaving? (I already GAVE you this one.)*
2. Lights up a room with his smile?
3. Can lift up one end of a car with his bare hands?
4. Has no arms or legs, and falls into a pool?*
5. Has a nose like a bird’s beak?
6. Is a homosexual member of the upper chamber of parliament?
7. Always knows the direction to his house?
8. Can force open a stuck window barehanded?
9. Smells like an outhouse?
10. Has a colorful birthmark on his face?
11. Is short and skinny with a flat head?
12. Burglarizes homes?
13. Operates a P.A. system?
14. Likes to run after women?
15. Loves to try on clothes?
16. Keeps his gas tank topped off?
17. Is always cleaning his house?
18. Is a probate attorney?
19. Plays practical jokes?
20. Enjoys cutting his grass?
21. Wears an ear stud?


How about a woman who:

1. Is a partner in a law firm?
2. Loves to sing Christmas songs?

(See first comment for my answers . . . And I apolgize in advance!)