Sunday, May 08, 2005

Best laid plans...

I had my blogging for the weekend all planned out. Saturday’s post was taken care of by the tag from Karyn about the... Well, about the punch bowl. I’ve decided I don’t really want to refer to that one very much in the future.

Although it DID result in some nice comments, and a poem by one of my daughters. So I guess it wasn’t ALL bad.

Anyway, today’s post was to be a Mothers Day tribute, or a VE day comment. I hadn’t decided.

No, I’m NOT old enough to remember VE day (and thanks a LOT for asking), but it was a very significant event in our country’s history and signaled the end to one phase of a war which helped define the national character in my generation.

But I find myself this morning feeling like the subject of yesterday’s post. And I DON’T mean the punch bowl, I mean what was in it.

It looks like my 2005 summer cold has arrived early this year.

Yeah, it seems to be an annual event that sometime during the warm weather I come down with a cold.

It’s not the flu. There’s no fever or vomiting or other digestive tract nastiness, just respiratory nastiness. Sneezing, coughing, blowing, snorting, gasping for breath, waking up plugged—those kinds of nastiness. Not to mention taking anti-everything pills that dry out your mouth.

Although I feel washed out and listless, I don’t go to bed and suffer in silence. Oh, no! That would be too easy. I stay up, moping around the house, not wanting to DO anything, and so I end up making Carol miserable too.

Well, they say that misery loves company, and I’m miserable, and I love Carol, so that would be a logical outcome. I share everything with Carol. That means I almost always end up sharing my colds with her. Yes, she’s quite grateful (and thanks for asking THAT, too), but she hides her gratitude well.

This cold is probably going to mess up tomorrow’s planned blog post as well. I was going to give all you faithful readers a blow-by-blow account of the dentist preparing molar number 19 for its crown. But now I’ll have to postpone that event.

No, it’s NOT because I’m a wimp and am looking for any excuse to avoid a trip to the dentist. (Well, there IS that. But not ONLY because of that.)

It’s because I can’t breathe through my nose most of the time.

I mean, come on. Picture yourself lying back with two sets of hands and about 5 instruments in your gaping mouth, one of them a rotary drill going about 25,000 RPM, and you start convulsively coughing or sneezing. Even if you suppress those involuntary impulses (and good luck doing that!) the back of your throat slowly fills up with saliva. If your nose is plugged up, how’re you going to breathe?

Think of the dentist and his assistant. Sure they’re wearing latex gloves, but do they really want to be fumbling around inside the mouth of someone who’s liable to sneeze and spray them with... well you get the idea. Of COURSE not!

So, unless tomorrow morning has brought a miraculous recovery, I will call and postpone.

You will be treated to a blog post on some other topic, and will just have to wait for that first hand account of the crown preparation.

Instead of going to the dentist, I’ll go to the office tomorrow and infect all the people there. I mean, sharing is good, right? Don’t they teach you that in preschool?

By the way, here’s a quiz for you (from an English major, remember). If you think you remember the lines from Robert Burns’ famous poem, WITHOUT LOOKING at the comments or in some reference, complete the following:

“The best-laid schemes
o’ mice and men...

You can leave your answer as a comment. Or not.

I feel too yucky to care.

5 comments:

Karyn Lyndon said...

John, I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling yucky. Having just gone through the whole tooth #19 thing I think you're right to cancel. I had a hard time breathing and I didn't have a cold. As far as completing the quote...I can't without looking it up...something about if things can go wrong they will...oh wait...i think that's Murphy's Law...

Duke_of_Earle said...

Karyn,

Actually, I think Robert Burns was ol' Murhpy's great uncle or some such. Similar philosophies.

Sushi said...

A fellow writer! Very Cool!

I'll be sure to keep an eye on your blog.

Michele said...

Gang aft a-gley. Proving that my English degree is not being wasted.

This is my first visit and I am thrilled that you "found" my site. It allows me to discover yours.

Please be un-yucky soon.

Duke_of_Earle said...

Michele,
Excellent. You're the first. You win a...
Lets see...
Oh, I'll think of something.
Thanks for visiting and listing me!