Saturday, May 21, 2005

The conspiracy continues

I will NOT be intimidated by (so-called) inanimate objects!

But this is getting ridiculous! Could it be that the refrigerator is getting even for that poem I posted a few days ago? I know I accused it of being involved in a house-flooding incident, but COME ON! That was FICTION. An attempt at HUMOR!

Can’t a household appliance take a joke? Gee whiz, Mr. Fridge, you’ve gotta admit you DID leak from your ice-maker plumbing once.

What? Well, OK, you’ve got a point. The leak came from where I connected the plastic hose to your built-in icemaker plumbing, so I should share the blame.

What!? You think I should take ALL the blame!? That’s unfair. It didn’t leak for several years, so I must have connected it properly.

OK, I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings. But don’t you think your “get even” tactic was a little over the top?

You don’t? Sheesh! Aren’t YOU the sensitive appliance! No, I don’t care if all the other appliances and fixtures in the house DO agree with you. You’re all a bunch of prima donnas.

I oughtta replace all of you. Yeah, I know that would be expensive, but you’re hitting me in the wallet now. PLUS you’re ruining my golf plans for today—Saturday—the ONE day this week when I might have had a chance to play.

What I want to know is how you did it. How did you manage to communicate with the plants outside the house and convince them to plug up my drain plumbing with roots? HOW?

Here we are on a Saturday morning—Carol is doing some laundry and I’m just flushing the toilet. The next thing I know (as the washing machine starts pumping out the soapy water), the shower stall fills up with water and the toilet overflows all over the bathroom floor!

This time, based on my experience from last month when the plumbing under the sink let loose, I knew what to do! Grab some towels and dam up the doorway so the bedroom carpet can’t get wet. Then RUN to the front yard (as before, thank goodness I was dressed) and unscrew the cap from the sewer clean-out in the front flower bed.

Yes, that lets all of the backed up sewer water, suds, etc., flow into the front flower bed. But isn’t that better than onto the bathroom floor and thence into the carpeted areas of the house?

So now what do I do? I called the city, hoping that the problem was theirs. No such luck—they’ve had no other reports of trouble in this area, but they’ll send a man out to check.

I have two choices: I can either call a “rooter” company, pay them the $60-$70 they charge for a 5-minute job of reaming out the roots, or I can rent a rooter “snake” and do the job myself. The rental will cost about $30-$40, I’ll have to drive to the business, pick up the snake, do the job, clean up the machine, and take it back. All of which will take a couple of hours.

I called the rooter company. I got their answering service with a promise that I’d be called back.
30 minute later I was called back and told that they were on their way. “How long?” I asked. There was a pause. “Oh, about an hour,” was the reply.

“Oh, so you’re NOT really ‘on your way,’ right?”

“Well, we have one other job to do first, but it shouldn’t take long.”

Yeah, right! That probably means mid-afternoon. It’s now 9:30 a.m., almost an hour after he told me he’d be here in an hour “or maybe less!”

Grumble, grumble.

I haven’t shaved yet. Carol is in the middle of a load of laundry with the washing machine turned off.

Glad I have a blog I can use to vent on.

Thanks for listening. I feel better. I think.

But I’m still thinking about trading in that refrigerator.

ARE YOU LISTENING, MR. FRIDGE?

5 comments:

Karyn Lyndon said...

How can you POSSIBLY blame your sewer problems on your poor, innocent refrigerator? Sounds more like revenge of the turd in the punch bowl to me...

Duke_of_Earle said...

Yeah, but I don't even HAVE a punch bowl. Had to be the fridge!

(Innocent, my a**!)

Christina said...

You know, we have been having toilet problems in our apartment since we moved in back in December. Our toilet was backing up almost weekly and we had to have maintenance in to snake it out every time. The apartment complex finally replaced our toilet, and not 2 days later the new one backed up. They think they finally identified the problem - the wax ring was not seated correctly, it was off center making the drain hole smaller than it should be. I don't know, though. I think YOUR toilet knows I read your blog and is now screwing with me via MY toilet. Quit pissing off the appliances!

Michelle said...

One of my toilets has a nasty habit of blocking up once every couple of months. You have now convinced me that appliance conspiracy does not let distance interfere in causing havoc - it reaches me here. I think we should be careful what we say out loud from now on.

I bet that part of your garden is the best part *wink*

Candace said...

Ooh! I'm gettin outta here now before my sink overhears this!