Monday, May 09, 2005

A Busy Monday

After a day at the office, I’m usually greeted with a cheery, “So, how’d your day go?”

And I think she really is interested, so I try to give her a sampling of the things I had to deal with. One thing about Human Resources, it’s seldom dull.

This week my principal focus is on payroll. Last week we got most of the essential benefits set up, but now I need to be sure that by Friday everybody is entered into the payroll system, all the information is correct, and the EFTs (Electronic Funds Transfers) go out on time.

There’s more to it than just the usual W-4 information for withholding and the employees’ base salary. For example, would you believe that out of 80 employees we have 7 who have a court-ordered garnishment for child support?

I wonder how that compares to national or even local statistics?

Not only does the correct amount of the garnishment have to be withheld from the employees’ pay, we also have to ensure that each garnished amount is sent to the correct county courthouse to be disbursed to the recipient.

Further complicating matters is: the date my plant was sold was not at the beginning or end of a pay period. So for this first pay cycle we have to include a few days that were really part of the last normal pay period, but weren’t paid by the former parent corporation.

And it’s not enough to just add in the correct number of hours worked, we have to see if any or all of those hours would have been overtime in that pay week and pay them accordingly.

Then, I’ve got two guys on temporary assignment with a different schedule from their normal one, yet we agreed to “keep them whole” (no reduction in total pay) for working that schedule. I have to figure out how to do that while complying with all applicable laws.

In the middle of all this, Christina called me with an issue about her unemployment compensation. I went online and looked up the answer to that for her.

Which reminds me, tomorrow is the day her former employer’s appeal of her unemployment eligibility is on the docket for the Workforce Commission’s review. I promised her I’d call in the afternoon to try to learn if the case is over and what the outcome is.

“So, Hubby, how was your day?”

“Oh, routine.” Pretty boring when you think about it. The work itself is not exciting, but it sure is important. Some days I figure I spend all my eight hours just keeping the plant and the company out of trouble.

Still, it feels good when you do it right. I had an employee come up to me in the lunch room today, shake my hand, and say, “John, you did a HELL of a job on those health benefits!”

Yep, feels good.


Karyn Lyndon said...

Two things. First of all, I'm not finding any mention of your poor (cough cough) health, Mr. "I have to cancel my dentist appt. because I'm sick" Earl.

Second. Did you really get over 1000 hits in the past week or did you figure out a way to fiddle with the odometer? Stop me before I get too impressed!

Anonymous said...

In all honesty, I think being a novelist would suit you much better than HR, payroll, garnishee orders and 9 to 5 hours.

Can you believe what Karyn said about your hit counter!! PS, can I stop hitting refresh 100 times a day or do you still want me to continue hitting your page whenever I can? Let me just hit refresh again after this and then I just HAVE to get on and visit my other blogs. LOL.

Duke_of_Earle said...

Karyn. Of ALL the nerve!

To imply that I might even consider "fiddling with the odometer!"

No, it was just last week that you expressed your jealousy over my passing 2000 hits. So I haven't had nearly 1,000 hits in the last week.

And, after all, why are you surprised? I mean, with all the drama, sex, humor, adventure, excitement, emotion, sex, crude references, puns, (did I mention sex?), OF COURSE I'm going to attract a lot of readers.

Any day now I expect Random House to call my agent and BEG him to let them buy and publish my MS, because thousands upon thousands have written in asking for a first edition, all based on their attraction to this blog. Then the alarm goes off and I wake up.

Kidding aside, I'm up to about 40-60 hits per day. As far as I can tell, they're legitimate. Unless Michelle has been, as she says, logging in and hitting the reresh button repeatedly to give me a cheap thrill.

(Thanks, Michelle! It feels good. Keep it up!)

As for my summer cold, it's still hanging on. I'm almost keeping the symptoms at bay through frequent applications of Drixoral and Sinex. I just figure most readers don't want to hear me whine about my cold. Many people have problems a lot worse than this thing, which is more an annoyance than an illness. But thanks for asking.

And no, I don't get a promotional fee for mentioning those products on this nlockbuster blog. Darn it!

P.S. Thanks, Michelle, for the vote of confidence. I'd rather be writing fiction than figuring garnishments. Maybe... someday...

Karyn Lyndon said...

Come on Michelle (and all the other 40-60 of you a day.) See what's going on at my blog "who let the blogs out?" It's only one little tiny click...not a lot to ask. And feel free to refresh as many times as you want.

Duke: I think I missed the sex part of your blog (well, except for my comment about propagating and the obvious LACK of details after your golf game last week.) And I thought I congratulated you on 1000 hits...but maybe it was 2000...time flies when you're blogging.

Duke_of_Earle said...

You MISSED the SEX?!? Well, maybe that's because I'm subtle. I don't slap you upside the head with it. It's kind of between the lines. But it's THERE!

(See, that comment will get lots of readers back looking between the lines for the sex!)

Karyn Lyndon said...

Are you supposed to be slapped up side the head with it? I've never tried that before...