Thursday, May 18, 2006


As most of you know, I feel compelled upon occasion to keep you all informed about the obvious (to anyone with half a brain — which means, I guess that if you have a WHOLE brain it isn’t obvious to you at all) ContaminationContrabandCollander- CamaraderieConspiracyConstraintContradictionComposition that is going on around us every day.

(Just ignore the bold-letters in the above sentence. It doesn’t mean anything. Making those particular letters bold was just an accident.)

The phenomenon to which I refer has been named by RobotJam as something called RenaissanceRevivalRenewal- RemissionResistentialismRegurgitationReprimandRecidivism (again ignore the bold letters, please). It describes events that seem to be coincidental until viewed with the broader perspective of someone who has recognized them for what they are.

Those events are invariably frustrating, annoying, and often quite expensive to make right again. They seem to occur in series, connected (if you can only see the link) through wires and pipes and even the airwaves (infrared and radio, among other frequencies on the electromagnetic spectrum).

If you are STILL in doubt as to my subject, please re-read yesterday’s post and the comments. If you like you can also browse back through the months since I started this blog and read the lengthy chronicles including lists, details, and methods of communication. The extend of this activity in our lives, our homes, our cars, plumbing and appliances will astound you; and you too will become convinced that this “C” is happening all around you.

Ah, but my alert readers have ALSO determined (through extensive experimentation, no doubt) that if the “C” remains unacknowledged and unmentioned, it often will lie quite dormant for extended periods of time. It has been suggested, out of sincere concern, that I leave the subject quite alone!

Others have found that just naming this scourge, or (worse) expressing the frustration and annoyance it brings, actually FEEDS it! I have been cautioned to desist. I have even been threatened!

Now M.E Ellis seems actually frightened at the thought of our lives being controlled by this vague force. Michelle of South Africa understands, having been affected by this thing for years, and thinks that code or secret language might help.

Thus my refusal today to name the “C” outright. I will try to continue in that vein for as long as possible. So all of you regulars will know when I make reference to the “C” just what I’m talking/writing about. Right?

OK then. We’ll just call it “C” and give it NO satisfaction.

Comprende? Of course you do.


Candace said...

Uh, John? Are you, um, okay?
Just Calm down and get Control of yourself. You may be Cracking up. Or, you may have Come down with something Contagious. Lie down and put a Cold Compress on your head. Call your doctor if you're not Considerably better in the morning.

Karyn Lyndon said...

Continuous communication concerning combined counterproductive occurances could become combustible. Currently cease contemplating contemptible conjectures!

Michelle said...

LOL. Now I am going to Confess something and hopefully I won't be sujbected to Cursing by yourself and robotJAM. My HP printer malfunctioned on the 29th March, one hour before the launch of my new business when we were frantically trying to get the tutorials printed. Since then I have had no time to have it fixed and have been using my brothers HP printer. Come on - is that just a Coincidence? HP printers Communicating across Cyberspace. It may take time Circulating Communicative Chaos around the world - but this is surely more proof that C-Theory does exist.

Hale McKay said...

A cumbersome communique from curmudgeons could corroborate corrigible comments, conceding certain coherent choristers could confirm conspicuous corposant. Could cloister constituency contrive concise concinnity?

Knowing you like song titles employed in a post - check out When I'm Sixty-Four dated 5/19.

M.E Ellis said...

Hilarious post because new people visiting today will have no flippin' clue what you're talking about but we do. So funny.

The reason this freaks me out is because we're connected together by this blog, so have some kind of affinity with one another, right? So 'C' homes in on this and picks on your commenters at random and spreads itself through cyberspace. 'C' must have been extremely gleeful when it discovered the scope of possible infection here.

It's probably coincidence. But the freaky bit that gets me: what if it isn't? What if this were truly real?

Think about it, some unseen force that can infect like that.

You can tell I'm a writer. Imagination goes nuts. There's a novel in there somewhere...


robotJAM said...

ME - YOu are right, I've often wondered as well if all these people on Duke's blog are actually part of the conspiracy.

I'm beginning to think that I am the only one on here who is real and everyone else is the same person just posting under different names to confuse me.

Or on second thoughts maybe I am inon the consiracy and have been taken off by "them" had my memory wiped and am in fact a double agent.

Hurm... my head is starting to hurt.

kenju said...

Too funny!