Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Real Sex!

I know, I know. "He always promises sex, but he never delivers." Oh, I've heard your complaints. I've read your emails.

Well, THIS time you'll see. I've even got pictures! I've got dialogue; before, during and after!

This is NOT for those who are easily offended by graphic displays of love-making.

So, if you think you're adult enough, and ready for some real XXX-rated material, just click the link below.


Okay, if you're ready. And if you really want to chance it...



CaliMarie said...

If these pics are x-rated...I'm going to hell for sure.

Thanks for helping me confirm that.


Have a good one, luv. And take care.

r.e.wolf said...


CaliMarie said...

Hola again, John. Como estas? Espero bien.

No need for thanks. If you're cool with M.E., you're definitely cool with me.

I know all about the tongue-in-cheek ordeal, so no need for an explication.


Thanks for commenting. I look forward to hearing from you again. And I'll most definitely continue viewing your blog.

I'll link you as well.

Have a great one and take care.

Valkyrie said...

There are going to be some very disappointed 15 yr old boys clicking on your link! Anyway, what a great story! Maybe you should turn your book into a pictorial as well? (Hee hee).

M.E Ellis said...

Aside from the great commentary, those pictures are absolutely fantastic.

Bravo Carol! Amazing! So clear too. That camera is a goodun.

Especially loved the bird that was dirty - the state of him, so funny. And err, I had a tear in my eye at the two little birds in the pipe!

I know, I'm a soft sod and though I don't like birds anywhere near me (I kind of freak - my nan's budgie flew at me as a kid and the fear stuck) I do like birdwatching (think I mentioned that before, hubby bought me a book so I could work out what birds were what in our garden!)

Let me know when more bird pics are up, they're great.

Oh, and that's the first time I saw birds having a bit of the old how's your father. Never did know how they managed it. You learn something new every day!



Duke_of_Earle said...


The birds and the bees... Well, the birds at least... They're quick! But there's no doubt what's going on.

I once actually witnessed two land tortoises mating. Now THAT was nothing like you would imagine. Well, yeah, it was slow. I'm sure you'd imagine that. But the positioning! "He" was actually flipped over on his back, holding onto "her" with his back legs as they were tail-to-tail. Beyond that you can, well, use your imagination.


M.E Ellis said...

Oh, I just did imagine...bluerk!

On the topic of animals and sex...

When I was 16 I was a nanny for this Greek boy and his baby sister. Anyway, this one day we went out to see the ducks. Hmm, a good way to waste half an hour, you think?

Well, I didn't quite know what to say when little Jem asked, "What's that coming out of the duck's bum?"

I had a look and got a bit of a shock myself. This duck's willy wasn't quite what I expected it to be. It was longer than its actual body! And it was all twirly like a plait in someone's hair. I remember saying, "Oh he's having a poo poo!" and walking back to the house pretty rapidly.

I never have forgotten that dick's duck...I mean duck's dick.



Duke_of_Earle said...

Why, THANK you SO MUCH Michelle, for that, um... story.

I jokingly marked my pictorial as "ADULT ONLY," but perhaps I should post a warning about the comments as well.

But I guess I started it, didn't I?

(I can tell that "ducky" experience has likely scarred you for life, no? Affected your writing too, I would imagine. Where's Sigmund Freud when you need him?)

Zinnia said...


This was great, John! I love humor like that!

robotJAM said...

Fantastic pictures, the story reminds me of Johnny Morris and Animal Magic. YOu probably have never seen that but just imagine that you have.

Also I really like the way you are playing the sex card for search engine attractions. You shouldn't though it doesn't work. Its also beacause of YOU, yes YOU, that I am now number 1 on google for the term " Chewbacca Driving License" and have had 5 people this month visit me for that very reason !

Nic said...

I'm BLIND! Blind I tell ya!

Yeah, I'm not that into golf. Actually hate the game really. I can't even putt-putt to save my life. I'd MUCH rather be the cart driver and the beer distributer/drinker. Heeheehee!

Monica said...

oSince I just had my 26th birthday (cough cough) I felt old enough to enter...thanks for the invite! :)

kenju said...

FABULOUS, John. The photos are great, expecially the one with the bird in flight in full feather!

M.E Ellis said...

Yes, I have terribly bad dreams about duck willies!



Candace said...

Your back yard is one hoppin' place! The clientele's kinda flighty, tho. And that grackle was a real bird-brain. Or maybe he was just parroting stuff he heard somewhere else...

Hey, come by and check out Scruffybutt's blog!

Katie Bryan said...

LMAO John...and what amazing pictures! I LOVE birds. OK, and sex too :) But shhhh...I have books to write.