Thursday, July 20, 2006

But what will everyone think if I...

My good blogging friend and writer M. E Ellis wrote in a personal post today:

"I’ve embraced my new lease of life, started again as my real self, as someone who can say and do what I feel inside instead of worrying about what other people think. I can express my thoughts and feelings without fear now. No one scares me anymore. No human being has a hold over me. I am accountable only to myself. It is my conscience that will plague, should I fall from grace. I have learned to apologise, admit when I am wrong. I have learned to accept other people for who they are, know if they choose to live their life a certain way that is their decision. I know that if people do something or act in a way that I find uncomfortable, I no longer have them in my life."

If you have not yet adopted that liberating attitude, you should consider it.

I was probably at least in my 40s before I began to realize that worrying about what other people think is a form of bondage. Or should I say "slavery?"

Now, I differ in that I consider myself accountable to God. Yes, I do believe in Him; quaint though that may seem to some. But I have my own proof. And, as stated above, I don't really care what others think about that. If I did, they would have a real form of power over me.

I think that anyone who wants to be a writer will save themselves a LOT of agony by realizing that just because someone doesn't like or enjoy their work, that does not necessarily mean it's "bad." Different folks like or dislike different stuff. That's why we have so much diversity. And that's good. As I wrote to another writer this week, we'd like everyone to like what we write, but that isn't going to happen.

I wrote a post a few days ago about satisfaction, in which I declared that I am easily amused or made happy. I think that's because I try to live up to a certain set of standards, but I'M the judge of my own success or failure. If I fail, I consider the reasons and correct them. But since they are my own standards, based on my lifetime of experience about right and wrong, what works vs. what doesn't, they are not that hard for me to meet. So I usually do. So I'm usually happy and satisfied.

Simple isn't it? (Simple, aren't I?)

Sorry. I don't usually wax philosophical in a non-humorous vein. I'll be better again tomorrow.


Unknown said...

What an amazing read - and precisely what I needed tonight! Especially "worrying about what other people think is a form of bondage" - I have done WAY too much of that in my life! Thank you!

Anonymous said...

Did Wolf just say he'd done too much bondage ?!?!?!?

Duke_of_Earle said...


Good question. But I think I'll let you and r.e. sort that issue out among yourselves.

(Where is Karyn Lyndon when I need her?)


Candace said...

John, that was great. Get philosophical any old time ya feel like it.

My own epiphany was similar, and SO liberating!

Emmy Ellis said...

I'm glad some people don't like my work, as if they all said they did...they'd be lying!



kenju said...

Feel free to wax philosophic anytime. I like it!

Shesawriter said...

You know, I think this attitude comes with age. When we're younger, we have so many cares, but as we grow older, we just get to the point where we don't give a shi*. LOL! I'm real close to getting there. :-)

Anonymous said...

Great post. Precisely the advice I've been needing lately. Thanks.

Christina said...

Interesting. I am going through something just like that in muy life right about now. I think a lot of people refer to this as "finding yourself". Inside, I really have the attitude you describe, but the hard part is incorporating it into how you live your life. What other people think is something that is hard for many people to get around. As I look back on my life so far, I feel I am about halfway there. It is a very liberating attitude to have. As a friend of mine says "It is better to be disliked for being who you are, than to be liked for being someone you're not".

Ana Lee Kennedy said...

I gave up on worrying what other people think a long time ago.