Today I’m leaving the topic of exploding toilets, unexplained plumbing “events,” and appliance conspiracies.
(As discussed in an earlier post, if the prefix “con” means “against,” then “conspiracy” must describe those who don’t like robbery on the high seas. I enlightened Karyn the other day on a derivative definition: “conspire” describes those who don’t like church steeples.)
(Oh, and in response to a number of requests, I’ll continue to explore various word sources and definitions as opportunities arise. How many requests? Well, it was a round number. Yes, “zero” is a number, and it’s almost round! But I’m sure that if one or two of you had thought of it you’d have requested more, right? Right? Hello? Awfully quiet out there…)
OK, to my topic for today:
Carol and I met at a dance. The whole story is described in my “romance novel” CHERISH IS THE WORD. I presented it as a novel because there are some fictionalized events added and the names of characters are changed, but it’s about 90% true. (Just ask her. She read it and liked it. And she NEVER lies!)
Soon a very perceptive editor at a publishing house will recognize the potential for this story and you’ll all see it on the shelves of bookstores, newsstands, even Wal-Mart. But for now, consider this a teaser to whet your appetite.
When she walked in (at the dance), I was immediately entranced. Why? Well, she’s gorgeous! Darn near breathtaking. In an uncharacteristic moment of bravado, I stepped forward and spoke before anyone else did, so she strolled into the ballroom with me.
(Btw, she has declined to state her first impression of MY appearance that night, except to declare that my Navy full dress white uniform was gorgeous. Clothes make the man, eh? What? No, I did NOT say that she thought I wasn’t good looking! But even if she did, what does she know? She claims she didn’t think SHE was all that great looking, and boy, was THAT wrong!)
Was it love at first sight? No.
But I just said she was (and is) gorgeous, right? What’s not to love?
She and I have discussed this many times. Yes, I was initially attracted to her appearance. At that moment, it was all I had to go on. But my emotions didn’t begin to move into the “love” zone until she opened her mouth and spoke.
What? I couldn’t have loved a mute person? Of course I could have. But when she spoke I heard intelligence. She was articulate, grammatical, and the topics we discussed—though not deep, philosophical positions—were of common interests and values.
There was no conscious thought process or logic telling me, “OK, lets see… Good looking? Check. Well spoken? Check. Solid values? Check.” But as the minutes became an hour or two I found myself swept off my feet. (No, in an emotional sense, not physical! She did not kick my legs out from under me!)
As I’ve thought about that evening many times afterwards, I’ve realized what happened. There are plenty of pretty girls and great looking guys out there. But while an attraction may begin with physical appearance; that alone is not nearly enough to know if true love exists (or may exist).
You’ve heard the expression “soul mates.” The soul consists of the mind, will and emotions. I believe that two souls must “connect,” or find a commonality of values and maybe interests, for love to occur and last.
Yes, opposite personality styles can and often do attract. But conflicting core values almost never do. And you can’t learn that from outward appearances, because, as we all know, appearances can be deceiving.
Love at first sight? Sounds good, but I’m dubious. In my experience love didn’t happen until the first hour or so of conversation and banter.