SEE!??!

If you’re a regular reader of Romantic Ramblings, you’ll understand this post.

If you’re not a regular reader; why not!? This blog has everything! As I’ve chronicled earlier, here you will find adventure, sex, romance, humor (OK, that’s subjective; I think there’s humor even if the rest of you don’t), religion, supernatural stuff, sex, emotion, drama, tension... uh... Did I mention sex?

Yesterday an alert reader pointed out to me an article in our local paper. I don’t know if YOUR local paper ran this story or not, but the headline read, “Man seeks $10 million in toilet explosion.”

(If you want to read the entire story, click HERE.)

Now I ask you; how many times have I pointed out in THIS VERY BLOG the obvious conspiracy of appliances and plumbing fixtures against human kind?

Remember my posts about the leaking toilet in my hall bathroom? Oh, and the water supply line bursting in my other bathroom? All of this was closely followed by the plugged-up sewer line in front of my house, backing up nasty stuff into my tub and shower stall.

It’s a known fact that my appliances and plumbing fixtures communicate with each other. (Well, it’s known by ME at least—regardless of what the rest of you think.) I suspect that the house wiring and the telephones are involved, but I don’t have proof of that. Yet.

But back to my point.

Can you see from the above referenced story how this conspiracy is escalating? Earlier the fixtures and appliances were merely creating nuisances with the potential to cause significant monetary damage.

What? You don’t think a flooded house would be a significant monetary expense? The plumber who un-stopped my front sewer told a story of a house which, when flooded by a burst sink supply line, cost $35,000 to repair! OK, that may NOT be significant to YOU, but it dang sure is to me!

But now the plumbing is increasing the severity of its attacks to the point of serious bodily injury and potential death!

I mean, all the man did was take his seat on the throne, light up his smoke, and BOOM!

I love the quote: "I can't tell you if it blew me out the door or if I jumped out."

Picture it—there’s a flash, an explosion, the top flies off of the port-o-can like a tin can with a firecracker under it, and then a guy is standing there burned and stunned with his, well, garments around his ankles.

And what about the reaction from the party being sued? An inside source tells me that private investigators were hired to determine if the burned man had eaten a large quantity of beans before the incident. However the official, public response was, “A man who answered the phone at Chisler's office in Fairview said the company would have no comment.”

Smart man. He knows that if he accuses the port-o-can, his own home fixtures and appliances will become active in an attempt to shut him up before the secret is out.

Mark my words: this conflict is far from over. How many more such incidents will it take before the public realizes that we are under attack?

I will continue to report such events until I too am silenced by the conspirators. Just remember, you read about it here first.