Tuesday, June 07, 2005


If you’re a regular reader of Romantic Ramblings, you’ll understand this post.

If you’re not a regular reader; why not!? This blog has everything! As I’ve chronicled earlier, here you will find adventure, sex, romance, humor (OK, that’s subjective; I think there’s humor even if the rest of you don’t), religion, supernatural stuff, sex, emotion, drama, tension... uh... Did I mention sex?

Yesterday an alert reader pointed out to me an article in our local paper. I don’t know if YOUR local paper ran this story or not, but the headline read, “Man seeks $10 million in toilet explosion.”

(If you want to read the entire story, click HERE.)

Now I ask you; how many times have I pointed out in THIS VERY BLOG the obvious conspiracy of appliances and plumbing fixtures against human kind?

Remember my posts about the leaking toilet in my hall bathroom? Oh, and the water supply line bursting in my other bathroom? All of this was closely followed by the plugged-up sewer line in front of my house, backing up nasty stuff into my tub and shower stall.

It’s a known fact that my appliances and plumbing fixtures communicate with each other. (Well, it’s known by ME at least—regardless of what the rest of you think.) I suspect that the house wiring and the telephones are involved, but I don’t have proof of that. Yet.

But back to my point.

Can you see from the above referenced story how this conspiracy is escalating? Earlier the fixtures and appliances were merely creating nuisances with the potential to cause significant monetary damage.

What? You don’t think a flooded house would be a significant monetary expense? The plumber who un-stopped my front sewer told a story of a house which, when flooded by a burst sink supply line, cost $35,000 to repair! OK, that may NOT be significant to YOU, but it dang sure is to me!

But now the plumbing is increasing the severity of its attacks to the point of serious bodily injury and potential death!

I mean, all the man did was take his seat on the throne, light up his smoke, and BOOM!

I love the quote: "I can't tell you if it blew me out the door or if I jumped out."

Picture it—there’s a flash, an explosion, the top flies off of the port-o-can like a tin can with a firecracker under it, and then a guy is standing there burned and stunned with his, well, garments around his ankles.

And what about the reaction from the party being sued? An inside source tells me that private investigators were hired to determine if the burned man had eaten a large quantity of beans before the incident. However the official, public response was, “A man who answered the phone at Chisler's office in Fairview said the company would have no comment.”

Smart man. He knows that if he accuses the port-o-can, his own home fixtures and appliances will become active in an attempt to shut him up before the secret is out.

Mark my words: this conflict is far from over. How many more such incidents will it take before the public realizes that we are under attack?

I will continue to report such events until I too am silenced by the conspirators. Just remember, you read about it here first.


Karyn Lyndon said...

Jeez! We've already been through this once! There IS no sex on this blog. The closest you've ever come to it is harmless propagating by some asexual memes!

Re: the attack of the appliances. Don't forget about the refrigerator that ate your hand...

Karyn Lyndon said...

Oh, and congrats on passing 4,000. You've had more hits than a group of hippies at Woodstock...

Michelle said...

There is something huge on the go at the moment. Everytime I leave the lounge to work on my computer, my 2 yr old TV switches off on its own and I have to go back in and switch it on again. It definitely has something to do with the wiring - so be warned. Electrical currents could be surging in your direction. *grin*

Michelle said...

It was remiss of me .... but what the heck .... here I am again!

Congrats on passing 4000 comments - I will celebrate with you when you reach your 5000 milestone and will make every effort to get you there quickly *wink*

Michelle said...

Not comments!!!! I meant 4000 hits. Where is my brain?

Christina said...

Ah, the plot thickens! You better make sure the appliances haven't gotten to your computer through the wiring, or you could be in real trouble.

Robin said...

How does anyone know that it wasn't simply a case of explosive diarrhea? *giggle*

Talk about getting bit in the butt!

Bill said...

You know, every time I go into the kitchen, the microwave and toaster get eerily silent. Maybe I should be more careful next time I make toast.

Jefferey Dattilo said...

Sorry for omitting to sign - I posted the above.