Wednesday, August 02, 2006

And speaking of Dumb...

Last weekend Carol asked me a question.

I didn’t hear the question, but she thought I did. Of course, I didn’t answer the question I hadn’t heard. And of course, that irritated her since she thought I was just being obstinate.

Can anyone see a no-win situation developing here?

A bit later she couldn’t stand it and said, “Did you not hear me ask you something a minute ago?”

I said, “No, what did you ask?” She told me, and I proclaimed my innocence. “If I had heard you I would have answered. Did you think I would just ignore you?”

She cocked her head a bit and said, “I wondered if you were just acting like a dumb-ass.”

Realizing that a pun was in the making I admitted, “Yeah, well, not speaking is like being dumb, I guess. But in this case I wasn’t being a dumb-ass, I was being a deaf-ass.”

She rolled her eyes.

I went on, “So in summary, since I neither heard the question NOR answered, I guess that makes me a deaf-and-dumb ass.”

“But,” I continued, “I’m not a deaf-and-dumb-ass from Dumas!”

She’d had enough. She walked away groaning.

(Maybe not so dumb after all, huh? At least she wasn’t still peeved at me.)


Christina said...

Oh, she was peeved, all right. Just for a different reason.

Actually that WAS pretty funny.

kenju said...

I think you and mr. kenju went to the same school.......LOL

kenju said...

HA! I had to come back and tell you that the word verification for that was

"UASKI" I thought, "you asky - I answer(y).

Karyn Lyndon said...

My husband suffers from DDAS, too! (Deaf & Dumb Ass Syndrome) Must be a man's lack of intuition that makes you unable to answer a question you didn't hear.

Duke_of_Earle said...


Yes, clearly that condition is gender-specific. Most women I know will answer MANY questions that were not only not heard, but never asked. This results in what is perceived by the DDAS-afflicted male as meaningless chatter, which further exacerbates his tendency to not listen.

A vicious cycle.


Badabing said...

I think our wives must be related :-)

Miss Cellania said...

This is funny and clever, but if I were your wife, I wouldn't be able to see it that way.

Candace said...

"Deaf and dumb-ass." Good one. Say, John, are you related to the Bush family?

Faith said...

My kids are all deaf-ass, LOL!

Hey, could you pop back in to my blog and see if that last post still looks weird? I copied and pasted again from a different file, so I hope it's fixed.

Faith said...

Nevermind, John.

There is something goofy going on with Blogger. This time it shifted everything on the righ to the bottom of the page. When I deleted the post, it righted itself.

Michelle said...

LOL - that was quick thinking.