Wednesday, August 02, 2006

And speaking of Dumb...

Last weekend Carol asked me a question.

I didn’t hear the question, but she thought I did. Of course, I didn’t answer the question I hadn’t heard. And of course, that irritated her since she thought I was just being obstinate.

Can anyone see a no-win situation developing here?

A bit later she couldn’t stand it and said, “Did you not hear me ask you something a minute ago?”

I said, “No, what did you ask?” She told me, and I proclaimed my innocence. “If I had heard you I would have answered. Did you think I would just ignore you?”

She cocked her head a bit and said, “I wondered if you were just acting like a dumb-ass.”

Realizing that a pun was in the making I admitted, “Yeah, well, not speaking is like being dumb, I guess. But in this case I wasn’t being a dumb-ass, I was being a deaf-ass.”

She rolled her eyes.

I went on, “So in summary, since I neither heard the question NOR answered, I guess that makes me a deaf-and-dumb ass.”

“But,” I continued, “I’m not a deaf-and-dumb-ass from Dumas!”

She’d had enough. She walked away groaning.

(Maybe not so dumb after all, huh? At least she wasn’t still peeved at me.)

11 comments:

Christina said...

Oh, she was peeved, all right. Just for a different reason.

Actually that WAS pretty funny.

kenju said...

I think you and mr. kenju went to the same school.......LOL

kenju said...

HA! I had to come back and tell you that the word verification for that was

"UASKI" I thought, "you asky - I answer(y).

Karyn Lyndon said...

My husband suffers from DDAS, too! (Deaf & Dumb Ass Syndrome) Must be a man's lack of intuition that makes you unable to answer a question you didn't hear.

Duke_of_Earle said...

Karyn,

Yes, clearly that condition is gender-specific. Most women I know will answer MANY questions that were not only not heard, but never asked. This results in what is perceived by the DDAS-afflicted male as meaningless chatter, which further exacerbates his tendency to not listen.

A vicious cycle.

John

Badabing said...

I think our wives must be related :-)

Miss Cellania said...

This is funny and clever, but if I were your wife, I wouldn't be able to see it that way.

Candace said...

"Deaf and dumb-ass." Good one. Say, John, are you related to the Bush family?

Faith said...

My kids are all deaf-ass, LOL!

Hey, could you pop back in to my blog and see if that last post still looks weird? I copied and pasted again from a different file, so I hope it's fixed.

Faith said...

Nevermind, John.

There is something goofy going on with Blogger. This time it shifted everything on the righ to the bottom of the page. When I deleted the post, it righted itself.

Michelle said...

LOL - that was quick thinking.